My Dream blog

One of my dreams that I can remember is a recent one that has occurred to me as I've been on this Thanksgiving break, and it involves me milling around some building (I think at a college) alone, something similar to the administrative building that's on this campus, and I was wandering around in it walking up and down stairs, walking down a few halls, and trying to open a few doors to conference rooms to find some people I knew. I can't remember whom exactly I was trying to find, but I think I was trying to find a class that I had to attend at six at night there or I was trying to find some friends whom happened to be in one of those rooms. I remember trying to open a door that was either locked or unlocked, I couldn't tell if it was either; I gave up on it halfway trying to check. I felt discouraged from trying because I thought that I was late in trying to get to class/find my friends. Then as I turn to leave I find this one guy chillin about 5 feet away from me, looking at me as if I had done something funny. He then said to me something like, “Dude, stop sleeping during the day, you've got a lot of work to do still.” And he said this with a smile and proceeded to pass me and (I assume) wait in front of the door that I was just at as if someone were going to meet him there. After he spoke those words to me, I just nodded my head and said, “Yeah, you're right,” and then I headed for the stairs I had came down earlier. The guy that spoke to me was this one really short guy that suffered from dwarfism that I know I had seen somewhere else earlier in my life.

I think what that little scene meant was was for me to stop being depressed and trying to sleep the day away here at college because that's what I tend to do over at one of the study rooms on one of the comfy couches. Some people have noticed I do it regularly and now they ask my whereabouts if I'm not sleeping on the couch at certain times of the day. I think it was significant that this person was in my dream telling me to stop feeling sorry for myself and take charge of what I do because it looks like (whenever I had seen the guy in real life) this other person had gone through more adversity than what I have gone through, and that I should be able to take care of myself. I think I'm starting to wise up that I'm not in a bad situation that I think I am and that I should be able to talk to other people instead of distance myself from them and start to live life.




O/T: I want to listen to some Jimmy Eat World, so here I go:

My Camus, question #4

This sounds like a tough question: How do you think we should handle relating to someone whose actions or beliefs we disapprove of? If I want to answer this simplistically, I would say that I would act unhappy and ignore or not pay attention to whatever the person was doing or saying.

This method of action however changes if I cannot avoid it, though. If I was in a situation to where, like Daru, I had to take in a prisoner for a while whom had committed a crime similar to the Arab's, I don't know what I would do. I believe I would only give the prisoner the essentials they need to get by while under my watch, but I don't know if I would be as humanistic as Daru. Some variables that would help me change my mind though would be if I found out the crime wasn't actually severe (such as a person stealing a candy bar from the checkout stand) or if the perpetrator was seriously remorseful for what they had done, whichever crime it was. Also, if I found out that if the person actually had a valid reason for committing their crime (such as murder as an act of immediate self-defense in order to not be killed themselves or stealing medicine in order to immediately save someone else's life), then I would probably open up a lot more to the person. At that point I'm not even sure I would call them a criminal, but more like a person that had to react in a quick fashion in order to survive in the world, no harm, no foul.

One thing I would make sure of though would be that my feelings or emotions were not getting played, because there have been instances where I've let my guard down and misunderstood words or actions that I thought were in my best interest (probably because those word or actions were what I wanted to hear or see). Then I would feel like a fool for doing whatever it was I did and then I would clam up. In light of that, especially when taking in a prisoner, I would end up keeping some kind of defensive weapon nearby, like a knife or a gun, because if I was being taken advantage of without knowing it, the consequences could be a lot more severe for me if I wasn't prepared.

But what if I didn't have this prisoner situation and more likely had to deal with a boss or co-worker that I didn't like? Well, maybe I would try to find out why they were acting in that way, like try to talk to them or other co-workers about what background information they know about the person. If trying to relate or be friendly wouldn't work with them, then I would let them know that I'm not happy with them and that they'd better watch what they're doing around me (however, I realize, if I tried to say that to my boss, it wouldn't work out- in that case, I would probably hit up HR or someone else that could help the situation). I would not act violent or cause physical harm (that would put me in even hotter water than what I would want) but I would stand my ground and make it be known that I shouldn't be crossed with. Normally, I don't think I would ever come across situations that would make me consider leaving, but if there was a serious situation that needed me to leave my job, I would do it. Something like a serious ethical or financial mismanagement in the workplace would get me packing.

As far as emulating Daru's style of handling a not so favorable situation, I guess I would be as humanistic as possible toward others, whatever the situation is. But I've learned that it's not always the best method to use, so I constantly stay alert to whether or not my method is working; if it wouldn't be, then I would step it up and find a method that would.

The most interesting man in the world, err "Guest"

The character who interested me the most was Daru. He acted in the most passive way possible, and I imply it in a negative way. I mean, he probably had no choice but to take the Arab prisoner over to the imprisoning waiting party (thanks to his country's military), but as he leads the prisoner out along the trail, he decides to leave him there alone and walk back to his schoolhouse. And to add insult to injury, for not completing his task he receives a death threat by the party whom he was trying to please.

One thing I don’t understand is how he could be a pushover to the Arab. He knows the Arab killed his cousin for some meager reason and even admits his own hatred toward the Arab for the crime he had done, but wimped out at taking him over for detention for what seems like a version of “Stockholm Syndrome”. I really don’t know why this guy decided to do this, because even though anyone can act humanistic and kind when they want to be, inhumane acts that have been done by the same person should not be forgotten or ignored, especially if the acts were really heinous. Daru lost sight of that, and gave into his “brotherly love” mood. And then he got a death threat.

Now, I know Daru was pushed over by Balducci for having custody of the Arab, but if Daru was as loyal to his country as it seemed like he was he would’ve simply finished his duty and taken the prisoner over to where he was needed. It sounded like he especially wanted to do the job after learning of why he needed to take the prisoner over. At least this would make his death not totally uncalled for.

Basically, this story tells me you can't please everyone, and when you do, you end up hurting yourself. In this case however, Daru tried so hard, he killed himself.