DJ Shadow's effect on me

My favorite song was The Number Song. Why? I don't know. I think it's because of the rhythm and beat it produces; it reminds me of an intro song used to welcome the home team of a football or baseball game, like the “Yeah! Let's go get them!” kind of song. It's supposed to evoke hope and preparation for the fans and the players for a good game. It also reminds me of said game where I'm in the stands enjoying a hot dog and soda watching the players on the field. Basically, this song reminds me of a good time out watching a sports game. It gives me feelings of invigoration, adrenaline, and a fun atmosphere, preferably one where I'm watching a baseball game at night surrounded by friends.


There were some other good songs on the album too. Building Steam with a Grain of Salt was a pretty moving song, as the beat was pretty deep and melancholy, but it was addicting; along with trying to add speeches of eventual success or higher meaning, it was enough to put me in a content trance. Listening to the nearly 7 minute song left me in a state of suspension, where I was solely focused on hearing the song and drifting myself off into a mental place other than where I was. Another good song was How Deep is Your Soul (Blue Sky Remix): this song was more dreamlike and, in some ways, more positive than the original song of the first same name. It left me thinking of me floating in the clouds on a moonlit night, surrounded by other friends looking around at what we were a part of, waiting for the morning to come so we could finally start doing what we all want to accomplish.


This album was a pretty good album; it may not be the best in my book, but it was definitely one that got my mind turning and wandering into states that I normally come into when I'm dreaming, and for that, I appreciate it.

Comparing Phil in Groundhog Day to me (with more emphasis on me)

The relation about Phil's humanistic journey to the journey about me trying to exit the cave and see the light is that Phil was at least able to exit the cave and accept his transformation into the person he became; I, on the other hand, am fighting against that transformation because I'm wondering whether or not it is the most just, ultimate path that I should be taking as a human being or not. I guess I like being the devil's advocate, but I don't like taking the same old beaten path that everyone else takes traveling through life; I like to be unique, kinda like those goth kids from South Park who try to be “nonconformists” (and it's especially hard trying to be a nonconformist among other people you notice who are also nonconformists when you all yield the same answers for issues and take the same plan of action to work on them). I guess I don't want to go along that same path of enlightenment because I already know what's along the journey (or at least, I believe I've seen enough stories about what occurs along those journeys and what the end result entails for those journeys) and I don't want to be a part of that story; I just want to blaze my own path and do something that nobody else has done. I would like to make my own mark on this earth that would help out the human race somehow but in a field that needs attention to that no one else has really tackled on, which is why I don't want to be thinking the same way like anybody else out on the street or anybody else that has a similar personality to mine. As far as what's concerned of me, crawling through this cave has been much more difficult than it would probably be because of the extra weight I've put on myself in order to exit it, and I'm hoping that when I do exit it that I will appreciate the light much more than I would if I didn't set up all these traps and weights for myself.

Actually, I take that back: I'm probably already out of the cave and understand enlightenment, but I'm stuck outside watching from behind a tree as other people are exiting the same cave and coming to the same conclusions about enlightenment as they see the light; I'm beginning to wonder if that light is supposed to be interpreted in the way that everyone concluding at, or whether or not there's another answer. And that's why I won't go back into the cave with my information; I don't know whether or not I should be following that crowd back with a group-consensus decision or if I'm needed to come to a different conclusion.

My relation to Plato's Cave

After reading “Plato's Cave”, the first thing that popped in my head as far as how the story relates to an event in my life is when I came to the realization that life is all relative: there's no real point in living it, no one or no physical “higher being” that forces you to do such and such before you die, but that you're here on this planet, in this galaxy, living as a human being - by chance - and that you've got to figure out what you would like to do on this planet before you die. This conceptual view of mine probably began early on in my life when I was in either kindergarten or first grade and I started to notice that despite how connected I was with my peers, I could never always enjoy being around their company. Instead, I was more happy thinking about fantasy and the “what-ifs” that this world had to offer. I was distancing myself from others and began looking at myself as a point in time, thinking “OK, so I'm here in my classroom surrounded by other kids: who ARE they? What is their purpose on this earth? What IS this earth? Is this just an illusion? Am I dreaming, or is this somebody else's dream? What's the point of doing what we do?” I believe that in separating myself from others at the time I helped myself learn some perspective about living my life throughout my elementary and middle school years; the conclusion I came to was to live life to the fullest with those around me and enjoy as much as I can while I can.


When I entered high school, I believe that the whole concept of life for me began to sour a bit, as I was only able to enjoy few select moments while in that institution. It probably goes the same for everybody else also, but during those four years, I started questioning the whole concept of life again. Sure, I was doing academically well in school, but the social aspects of school and home were knocking at my door much harder than it was while I was growing up through elementary and middle school. The old conclusion of trying to “enjoy life to the fullest” was coming into conflict with the experience I was going through during those 4 years. Friends were either hard to come by or were not friends at all, pressures at home were mounting for what reason, I don't know, but it became increasingly difficult to talk to my parents about anything that was going on with me, and it was from these letdowns that trying to do my daily tasks became exhausting to do. It wasn't until I was nearing high school graduation that I began looking at a brighter side of life, thinking “Hey, once I get out of here I'll finally not be controlled by this godforsaken social combine!” ...I was half right, half wrong.


Have you ever heard of the song “High School Never Ends” by Bowling for Soup? It's about how all of the stupid, menial stuff that becomes glorified and publicized during high school shows up again on a much larger scale in TV shows, newspapers, and other savvy media dispensaries in the real world. It's the information that doesn't make a difference for issues in the long run, such as global poverty, the threat of an asteroid hitting this earth, or how we need to solve this social security problem we're gonna face in this country in the next 20 years. This type of information was EXACTLY what I ran into when I first came to this college 4 years ago, and I still notice it today but I don't let it get to me. It wasn't the only thing to bother me and dash my hopes of freedom when I first entered college: the second was social pressure. The pressure to conform. The pressure to think a certain way, to act a certain way, and to live a certain way. San Francisco is a PRIME example of one of those cities, and there are many times when I can't stand it. For as “open-minded” as it wants to be, if you don't agree with someone that has the same mind-frame of what's socially perceived of this city – to be accepting of everybody, despite race, religion, or sexual orientation; or that gasoline is the evil from which we need to save ourselves from - they call you dumb and ignore your point of view because they think THEY'RE right and YOU'RE wrong, and that's that. I bear with this more often than not, but it STILL gets to me how some people are so strong-headed with their convictions that they will NOT consider the other person's opinion, even if they were listening to the others point of view. And it is from this that I have used the conclusion of life is: it's all relative. Anybody can be right, anybody can be wrong; it's all in the hand of the one who wins.